One Step From Reality
by katie janeway
Summary: Assume that Frank and Joe are real, living, famous teen detectives instead of book characters.


**Disclaimer: Aren't you glad they aren't mine??**

Joe Hardy was, quite simply put, high. He had to be. Or drunk. _Maybe both,_ he reasoned, as he stared at the words on the screen. _What the heck is this stuff?_ He'd thought he could no longer be surprised by internet fans…but this had him completely stymied. Tentatively, he clicked on one of the highlighted links.

_Welcome to HARDY TV TIME! What if the Hardy brothers weren't famous detectives but instead were TV hosts?_

Joe scoffed. "You're joking, right? Although…maybe if I hosted a swimsuit contest…" He read further into the story, and burst out laughing. "So much for that idea. Hey, Frank!" he called to his brother, who was in the next room. "Come look at this!"

"What've you got?" Frank wandered in, his thumbs hooked into his jeans pockets. He groaned when he saw the site header. "Oh, Joe…you're not looking at Real People Fiction again, are you? It's bad enough knowing we have fan girls – I'd rather _not_ know what they think we _ought_ to be doing."

"C'mon, Frank, some of this is clever. Just look at the TV tunes this author came up with!" Joe began singing in a squeaky, childish voice. _"Hardys' solve-a-long, where kids come to solve-a-long and crime scenes are all we ever do. Yes it's Hardys' Solve-a-Long, We want you to solve-a-long, we've got a lot of cases for you!"_

"Oh, brother," Frank mumbled.

"Yes?" Joe asked. "C'mon, have some fun, Frank! Enjoy it!" He picked another theme from the fic. _"It's a beautiful day in the mystery world, a beautiful day for a suspect...won't you be mine? Won't you be mine?"_

"Okay, I'll join in," Frank said. He began speaking in a strangely accented voice. "How many annoying brothers are there? Let's count them, shall we? One, one annoying brother! Ha ha ha! Two, two annoying brothers! Three, three annoying brothers! Three annoying brothers, ha ha ha!"

"So, wait…that's you, me, and…who's the third?" Joe asked. He grinned. "Or do you just love me so much you wish I were twins?" Frank flushed in embarrassment. "Aw, don't get embarrassed, Frank. You tried. Even if your Count impersonation was horrible, you tried. Let's look at another fic."

"Hey!" Frank pointed. "That one's about Nancy!"

Joe raised an eyebrow when the link opened. "This person had better hope she never finds this story."  
"Why?"

"Take a look at this." Joe pointed to an excerpt.

"_Frank and Joe were suddenly tackled by a tall, gangly, reddish creature with blue eyes. When the creature spoke, it had a high squeaky voice that made the boys wince. "Exsqueeze me. Mesa called Nan-Nan Dwew! Iffen yousa lookin'; for da mostest caringest alien detective, yousa founda dee expert!"_

Frank let out a low whistle. "Wow…that person certainly is brave…"

"Yeah…one more?"

"Sure, why not? Just make sure it's a good one this time!"

"Okay…how about this one? "Free Your Minds!" It could be interesting."

"Click it."

_"We've been in this 'Matrix' thing all our lives?" Frank couldn't stop the snort of laughter that escaped him. "Right. Sure."_

_"Actually...makes sense when you think about it...how else could we be so damn lucky?" Joe asked. _

Frank looked at his brother. "Since when do you swear?"

Joe shrugged. "Since our world became that of the Matrix? Though I admit, that idea isn't too bad. We _have _been lucky a lot of the time…"

"Alright, that's it. I'm cutting off your caffeine intake."

Joe pouted. "What for?"  
"Because then you'll be too tired to go online searching for fanfiction about our lives."

"That's a pretty lame reason, Frank."

"I know…but how else can I stop you from looking this stuff up?"

Joe grinned. "Easy! Just give me a mystery to occupy my time. Or a date with some cute blonde…"

"What would Vanessa say to that?"

"Oh…right. Well, just the mystery then."

"Okay...let's start with this one: Did you borrow my Garfield boxers?"

"Um…" Joe began to squirm in his seat. "Maybe…why?"

"Joe!"

"Relax, Frank, I'll return them to you." Joe promised. "When I find them, that is," he muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Um…er…nothing…"

"JOE!"

"Okay! Okay! I'll find them already!" And Joe Hardy went off on his next mystery: The Case of the Missing Boxers.


End file.
